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What if you’re the one who delivers the harsh criticism? Does your harsh criticism make others feel better or worse?
Criticism usually happens when one is corrected for doing or saying something wrong.
Critique is healthy; it strengthens souls, but sometimes it can weaken people. It occurs when harsh people abuse their critiquing power.
You can learn how to give godly criticism at work, home, school, and in relationships or when correcting a brother or sister in Christ. It is usually best offered after you ask permission to speak into their life. When you do so, they will often give it to you.
Godly ways to give criticism:
- Deliver it withlove and patience, not with any abusive words like profanity or name-calling). It never helps to tell the person they are no good or call them “stupid” for their mistakes and shortcomings. Whether good or bad, anything you speak to a person can show in their attitudes and actions. If you critique them with a good, honest, loving approach, you will likely see a more self-confident person. But if you constantly demonstrate no confidence in the other person, they will probably lack confidence in themselves and be slow to improve.
Remember, the Lord has you in their life to help the other person. Before you critique, ask yourself if it comes from a place of compassion, protection, and consideration to see them do well in life.
- Express appreciation. Point out the good even while critiquing.It is difficult to do, but not impossible. Pointing out the negative and leaving out the positive can leave the person on the receiving end feeling inadequate. They may think, “Seriously? I’m doing my best, but I’m still coming up short?” Remember to tell the other person how good they’re doing when offering critique. This can help increase their self-esteem.
Remember, when critiquing, look for the positive and address the positive along with the criticism. Tell what they did well but correct them on their wrong. It demonstrates to others that you have confidence in their abilities.
- Be truthful but not harsh. And don’t sugarcoat, either.The Lord wants us to lovingly “warn” those who are wrong (1 Thessalonians 5:14). He says to speak the truth in love…lovingly. He wants us to pray for those who are wrong, so their spirit can be restored.
When we warn, we must be honest and tell them they are in danger of His judgment and maybe disapproval from others. We must not be careless, and we must not sugarcoat our warnings. Sugarcoating is just as dangerous as being “reckless,” if not even more dangerous. Sugarcoating can partially prevent others from hearing the truth; they don’t get the full version of what they need to hear.
- Make sure the critique isconstructive and not destructive. Your words should be to add value to others and not destroy them. Look at how Jesus addressed those who were astray. Even though it offended them, He pointed out their sin and told them what they needed to do to improve and live better. He was patient, loving, and truthful at all times.
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