Seven Skills the Best Coaches Use – Part 1

Significantly few people can climb to the top of the mountain alone. They need a guide and individual training. If the mountain is high enough, we all need someone to help us reach the top.

Good leadership is the same. Through the years, I’ve been blessed with incredible coaches and mentors. I hope you have, too. If not, they are out there and closer than you may think.

There is a difference between coaching and mentoring. Here’s a detailed list of the differences between coaching and mentoring I adapted from Dan Reiland.

(Each of these points mirrors the same number on the other list.)

Coaching:

1. The focus is on needed skills.
2. It is usually a regular part of the person’s life.
3. The coaching process usually has a start and an end.
4. There may or may not be a personal connection or affinity with the coach.
5. The emphasis is more on immediate results.
6. It is often limited to a focused professional or skill-based endeavor such as business or athletics.
7. A coach can be a peer or older.
8. The coach’s particular expertise is vital.
9. A coach usually works to make the player better so the team/ministry/organization can win.
10. The goal of the coach is to win.

Mentoring: 

1. The focus is on life principles.
2. The mentor can be near in proximity but often are at a distance.
3. The mentoring process can be as short as one lunch or last a lifetime.
4. There is nearly always a personal connection, affinity, and relationship with a mentor.
5. The emphasis is more on the big picture and the long haul.
6. It often includes and embraces a fuller scope of the person’s personal and professional life.
7. A mentor is nearly always older.
8. The mentor’s general success in life is vital.
9. A mentor usually focuses on helping the person they’re mentoring get better solely for that person’s benefit and well-being.
10. The goal of a mentor is to grow.

If you don’t have a budget to acquire a professional coach, a business leader in your church or a pastor in a larger church near you might meet with you for an hour once a month or maybe every few months. 

However, you just must ask.

If they cannot do it, don’t get discouraged. Possibly request just one appointment. If it isn’t workable, pray and ask another person. Be a good student once someone is willing to coach you. Come prepared with your questions, and when you see them again, tell them what you did and how it went.

If you coach others now, these practical skills will polish you by allowing you to consider the ones you do well and the ones that need improvement.

For those are beginning to coach others, these skills will give you a great place to start.

Before we start into the seven skills, here’s some helpful guidance.

Advice for all who coach:

• Keep growing. The best coaches will continue to excel in their field.
• Keep knowing your heart’s motivation; why do you coach others?
• Keep showing genuine care for those you invest in. That always increases your impact.

Seven Skills the Best Coaches Use:

1. Keep the relationship genuine.

Coaching someone toward life-changing results is impossible if you don’t take the time to get to know them.

A great coach knows a person’s dreams, desires, passions, personality style, spiritual gifts, pressures, worries, gifts, life-experiences, and abilities. A good coach will take the time to learn a person’s story as it develops in a way that demonstrates they care.

An authentic coaching connection is a two-way street. The best coaches let you in at a

heart level, so the personal connection remains real. This dramatically enhances trust and the overall process of growth.

    2. Make expectations clear

It is essential a coaching relationship has clear expectations; without them, irritations are inevitable.

Knowing what is expected is a two-way street. The person being coached must understand where they want to go, and the coach must be able to help them get there.

Keep in mind the coach doesn’t own the achievement of goals. (That’s not possible.) The person being coached should own their own goals. As a coach, you are only responsible for the steps (the process) to help them get there.

Next time, we will complete the seven skills the best coaches use.