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A friend from seminary days told me that every leader has a number on his (or her) back.
50…100…200…1000…10,000
His theory? Basically, everyone has a natural number that reflects the size of the organization (or area) they’re capable of leading.
I wish he weren’t right. But what if he is?
Here’s a perplexing question. What if you have a number but don’t know what it is?
Your problem (and mine)
Your problem (and mine) happens when a relational leader tries to fill the role of an organizational leader. And to a similar extent when an organizational leader tries to fill a relational role.
Our culture raises tension because we assume that bigger is better.
We can get caught up in constantly comparing ourselves with others and feel inadequate if we’re not moving toward the “next stage.” The Apostle Paul says this is unwise in 1 Corinthians 10:12: “For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” (NKJV)
Add to that the outward thrust of the church’s mission, and many leaders find themselves in a place where they are trying to lead in a way that forces them past their usual number.
You may daydream about leading a big organization, but your wiring keeps drawing you back to a small one.
So … what are you? A relational leader or an organizational leader?
Relational leaders
Here are some characteristics of relational leaders I’ve observed. Relational leaders:
- Are fired up by direct interaction with people.
If a day in meetings or sitting behind the computer screen drains you, it might indicate that you’re a relational type of leader. You don’t mind who you’re meeting with as long as you’re meeting with someone.
- Dislike not knowing who’s in or not in the room or present that day.
A relational leader feels an intrinsic sense of anxiety if they don’t know everyone in the room. They want to find out who’s who, catch up, and ensure everyone in their organization knows them.
- Are current on what’s going on in people’s lives.
Knowing everyone and what goes on in their lives fuels relational leaders. Things like:
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- Who got a new job?
- Who’s sick, and who’s getting well?
- Who’s in love?
- Who got accepted to which college?
- Who’s thinking of moving or getting a new job?
- Who’s expecting a child?
They just want to know. They can’t help it. And they care. Deeply.
- Think systems gut the energy out of a great community.
There’s a significant difference between paperwork and procedures, but a true relational leader is challenged with systems. They can’t imagine a ministry or organization where they don’t know most people, and the idea that “systems” can care for people rubs at their core.
- Find it difficult to find and nurture current or future leaders.
Because relational leaders desire to be known and know others, relational leaders always struggle to grow other leaders.
It is often possible they see other leaders as a potential threat. But some can’t imagine being in an organization more extensive than their personal care bandwidth.
That’s often why most relational leaders never lead an organization larger than 200 people.
An exceptionally gifted relational leader might be able to grow a ministry or organization to 400 or even 500, but after that, they are highly likely to burn out, and the ability to care breaks down. This may not be all bad (except for the burnout part); it’s just true. You end up trying to be someone you’re not.
Those who know me know this is not usually my personality. I’m wired more as an organizational leader.
By comparison, here is how organizational leaders think and operate. Next time we will learn about organizational type leaders.
